Exhibition, Baby!
by OCP
Summary: Troy and Ryan make funny sounds. Chad is concerned. Belated birthday fic for FallingWithGrace. Slash implications...This one is interesting. Or...crackish.


**Title: **Exhibition, Baby!  
**By: **OCP. But I didn't tell you that. Blushes.  
**Pairing: **Troy/Ryan…well…sorta.  
**Rating: **Teen. Implied sex…but not really. Er.  
**Notes: **Eeek! This is for Jules (**FallingWithGrace**) and in honor of her belated birthday. God, please understand, I haven't slept in four days. I'm getting used to school. I have the biggest writer's block. This story is NOWHERE NEAR what I let myself post. Readers…read this if you want a crack fic. Jules…er…enjoy.

**.HAPPY.BIRTHDAY.JULES.**

On most occasions, Chad Danforth wasn't one to stay after school. Unless basketball was scheduled – which, most of the year, it was – he would leave directly after school and play a violent, mindless video game. If Chad didn't have to be at school, he certainly _wouldn't_ be.

This was not like most occasions. Mr. Lash, his English teacher, had given him detention for not writing an "appropriate and mature" poem. He didn't understand how 'The cat sat on the mat and while it took a nap it shat on the mat' was unsuitable or juvenile, but he had no say in the matter.

So there it was at five o'clock in the afternoon, and he was only now finishing his detention. He had agreed to meet Troy, who had also stayed after for some _Twinkle Towne _thing, at the auditorium in fifteen minutes. But that just wouldn't do because that would require Chad staying longer than he needed to at school. He couldn't have _that_.

He reached the theatre in due time, and while keeping a mindful watch for Darbus, he crept in. Troy was nowhere in sight, nor was Gabriella, Kelsi, or the Evans twins. He shrugged to himself and kept walking toward the front, mindlessly thinking about the homework he wouldn't be doing tonight…

That's when he heard it. It was a slight groan from a male voice he didn't quite recognize. Chad wildly glanced around and still saw no one. Silent, he climbed onto the stage and waited to hear something else. Which he did, and he almost had a heart attack.

"Oh god, it's _huge_, Troy."

Chad didn't know what quite to make of that. Though the velvet curtains muffled the voice, he instantly knew it was Ryan Evans, who was, evidently, talking with Troy.

Because he was an adolescent boy with raging hormones, his mind automatically went to a dirty thought. And because he was an adolescent boy with raging hormones, he blanched at the thought of Troy and _Ryan Evans_, and he quickly wrote it off as paranoia. Evans was, after all, strange – for all he knew, the kid could be referring to the size of Troy's…erm…shoes?

"I know, I know. God blessed me…and you, too."

"Mmm, I see that."

_Stop it, you're making things up in your mind_, Chad told himself, shaking his head to clear his thoughts. His eyes couldn't stop widening, though. He'd never heard Troy sound that…well, he didn't know how Troy sounded. It was more than a little disturbing.

There was a little rustling and what sounded like a jeans jacket hitting the ground, and Chad refused to acknowledge that it could be actual jean pants. It couldn't be pants hitting the ground. Chad decided that he was beyond crazy. There must've been something in that cleaning solution Mr. Lash had given him to clean the desks. Yeah, that was it.

"Are you sure it goes there?" Evans asked, and the slightest hint of panic began rising in Chad's chest. Absentmindedly he pinched himself to figure out if this was a dream. Surely it couldn't be what it sounded like…

"Er…I think so. I've never done this before. Wait, haven't you?"

"No. I've never found the right person to do it with me. The whole situation is pretty unnerving."

The panic had rapidly transformed into downright freaking-the-hell-out. Hadn't done _what_, exactly? Oh how Chad prayed it wasn't what he thought it was. He knew Troy had never…not with a girl (or guy!)…and he wouldn't be…Troy wasn't…He heard a soft sigh and Troy's voice lowered. Chad paled.

"Mhm. Do you want to wait?"

"No, let's just…get it over with."

_No! _He wanted to scream. _No, don't do it Troy! You're not gay! Don't do this in school! Don't do this, period! _He would've yelled it, too, had he not been frozen in fear. And then it was too late, much to his silent, immobile terror.

There were two loud, simultaneous grunts from Troy and Evans. He could distinctly hear Troy hiss in…in _what?_ Pleasure? Chad bit his lip to stifle the horrified gasp. When Evans lets out an unmistaken cry, Chad knows he's not imagining this.

"Troy, it hurts."

"It'll be okay, just breathe through it. It'll be over soon."

Troy's voice was shaky and choked with restraint. Chad couldn't decide if the churning in his stomach was shock or disgust, but he could barely attempt to think. There was more moving behind the curtains and a few more whimpers. All oxygen left Chad entirely.

"Faster, Troy. Oh _God_, faster."

"Almost there, Ryan…"

The sounds of mops falling over echoed throughout the theatre, which made Chad flinch. His best friend's breathing was growing louder, and every few seconds he heard Evans grunt or push out a breath…Oh Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, he couldn't believe he was witnessing this first hand from behind a damn curtain!

"Oh…_SHIT_!"

He was beginning to grow a little frantic in his hectic cloud of thought, and as he was about to stop this insanity and rip open the curtains, he heard an enormous sound, like someone – or some people – hitting the ground, and both boys let out a stated groan. Chad froze, listening carefully through the pants for some explanation.

"Whew. That was…interesting," said the Evans boy, and Chad wanted to beat the blond. Did he not have anything better to say after – no, he chose not to finish that thought. There he was, hearing his best friend having sex with another boy, and he still wanted to defend Troy's honor. Oh brother.

"Yeah, you okay there?"

"I'll be fine. God, I'm all sweaty now."

"Same here. I have a key to the shower room. Up for it?"

"Oooh, yes _please_."

Suddenly Chad Danforth's legs sprung to life because the thought of walking in on those two in the _showers _was more than enough for his fragile mentality. He ran shrieking out of the auditorium, not sure if he'd ever look Troy in the eyes again.

Meanwhile, backstage, Troy Bolton leaned against the wall, trying to calm his breath. He gave Ryan a small smile as he stretched his fingers and arms around.

"Well _that _was exciting," he nodded with a small chuckle, rolling his eyes. "Remind me to thank Darbus for demanding we move the biggest wooden moon that ever existed around the stage until we found the right place. I really owe her one."

Ryan wiped a bead of sweat off his forehead and stood up. "Yeah. Up until you came around, she made the girls do all the work…Girls dominated in numbers and worked together. Then you arrive with all your muscles and suddenly we're handymen."

Following Ryan's lead, Troy got to his feet and grabbed his jean jacket from the floor. "You're telling me. Sometimes it _sucks _being a guy."

And he didn't quite hear everything Ryan said in reply, but the last words sounded suspiciously like, "…I'd suck you."

So, with a bright, eager grin and wanting to get naked in those showers _now_, Troy grabbed Ryan's hand, brought him into a quick kiss, and then quickly dragged him in a sprint to the boy's locker room. He had a key and could lock the door, unlike the backstage of the theatre. Anyone could walk in on them!

He wasn't _that _much of an exhibitionist.

Not today, anyway.

**-THE END-**

Oh god, that sucked. I'm sorry Jules. I wrote it in like fifteen minutes. I have a serious creative block but I wanted to give you something to giggle over…whether you're laughing at the story or at the terrible skills, I don't really care. I just hope you smile! Happy belated birthday, wifey!


End file.
